Honestly, one of my latest nightmares was being stuck back in high school and no one believed me that I had already gone through high school and college. It was hell. It was like Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed only not...cause I'm not Drew B and nobody could pay me enough to go back to high school or junior high.
The company I work for is sponsoring corporate sports challenges. Yeah, people, I'm still trying to forget the fact that I can't put a basketball through that freaking hoop, okay?? My degree isn't in phys ed it's in engineering. I can't spike a freaking volleyball but I can pretty much tell you the molecular structure of what you use to spike your diet coke with. So, no, I'm not going to play corporate basketball or corporate beach volleyball. Besides, I don't want to see all these people with pasty white skin from working in an office 40+ hours a week decide that they're Kerri Walsh and get all speedo. Uh uh...I don't even want that mental image!! Today an e-flyer went out for getting a dodgeball team together. Dodgeball...I hated that game. I'd rather be stuck running laps around the track in off-season in those tacky gray school-issued sweats with the crotch between my knees. Those were the days...me and 10 other girls doing lap after lap right before lunch. About half the other girls were what you might call juvenile delinquents - that was in junior high when they had to be in gym class. They generally didn't opt for Athletics once we got in high school. More than once I had to assert myself on that dusty track by making some smart ass eat dirt. Oooo...those were the days. No wonder I got stress headaches on school mornings. And yeah, I got my exercise in dodgeball...trying not to get a concusion because some amazon girl on the other side of the gym decided to pick on the class nerd. Thanks, coach...I appreciate the boost of self-confidence that gave me....and that bruise.
My sport was tennis...and I still got bruises dammit. I even got socked in the mouth once from a ball that had spin on it and came flying straight up at me. And the mark of my forehead? Yeah, that was my follow through - across my face. I'm glad I had those seriously heavy-duty rayban knock-offs to protect my eyes. I already knew I needed those from the black eyes I got in soccer when I was in the second grade. I would say I need to stay away from team sports, but even golf has proven hazardous. Who could have known you can whack yourself in the back of the head when trying to play it smooth and twirl your golf club into the bag?
2 comments:
Thank goodness no one in my office has come up the idea of sports. I agree, I do not want to see any of these pasty engineers in work out clothes. The Speedo image is making me ill...
Ugh, you wanna see a bunch of IT guys playing kickball? Not a pretty sight, believe me!
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