46 Days In

February is halfway over and here's how 2012 has been so far.

• I have learned that I love getting on the elliptical first thing in the morning.  10 to 15 minutes really wakes me up and jumps my metabolism for the day. Up until last week, I've been doing a mile a day during the week (weekends don't count because I never. stop. moving.).  Little man and I both had the sinus crud last week.
• I re-taught myself how to crochet and have made three dishcloths.  I found some fun yarn at Hobby Lobby last weekend and plan on making it into a pair of slippers.
• Up until three weeks ago when we started remodeling our other bathroom (the one with the tub), I was getting in a weekly really good long bath full of candles and magazines and epsom salts.  So relaxing!  We should have the bathroom back this weekend and I plan to make good use of the new tub with the sloped back.
• I got a new hairstyle!  I now have long bangs and LOVE them!  Even my husband is still commenting on them weeks after the fact!
• Essie nail polish has a new color out called Armed and Ready.  It's not gray...it's not green...it's not brown...it has some copper and red flakes in it that only stand out in the sunshine...it's totally different than anything else I've worn before and I've rocked it a few times already.
• I've baked bread every other weekend and have kept our little family in homemade bread this year.  How many additives and preservatives have we NOT consumed because I have this great recipe that's really only about 15 minutes hands on that yields two loaves at a time?  Worth it? Totally!

Edited to add - I've lost four pounds so far!

2012 - so far, so good.  Let's keep rolling with it!

Living with Food Allergies

We had no idea the turn our lives would take when we learned that K had food allergies.  He also has asthma and eczema, so the trio can make each other worse.  There have been several food allergy deaths already this year and the foundations that support families with food allergies have been active in reminding parents to be their child's advocate.  I sat up at daycare yesterday for an hour visiting with the lady who makes the lunches and the director.  We reviewed K's allergies, the signs of a reaction, the action plan, and the ultimate goal of having K integrated with the class as close to normal as possible.

This evening he ate a new kind of tater tot.  The label was good...there wasn't anything in the bag that should have elicited a reaction, but it did.  He developed hives around his mouth and terrible stomach cramps.  This is the kid that has such a high pain tolerance that he needed a dedicated pain management team at the hospital.  So if he said that pain was bad, it was bad.  Those two symptoms alone put him on the edge between needing benadryl and needing an epi-pen.  We dosed him the highest level of benadryl we could and watched.  Within 5 minutes the hives had faded about 50% and the stomach pain couldn't compete with an episode of Pocoyo.  We're here two hours later and he's mostly saying that his stomach doesn't hurt. If I press him hard, he says it hurts a little.  I'm not sure what to believe.  At 4 years old, it depends on what the truth is, what's on tv, what he's playing with, and if he's on a roll of saying yes or no repetitively.

It's a life of always worrying...watching...waiting.  Every itch. Every cough.  Every pain.  It's hard to imagine what it's like to not worry every day about your child having a life threatening reaction.  And his stuttering has been much more pronounced the past few days.  I think we need a calm weekend to veg out and watch movies.

SPICA

Here are some photos from K's spica cast time.  In all of the years the pediatric orthopedist has been doing this, K is only the second child to have a bone separate *after* being set and casted like that.  The surgeon had already set a few femurs earlier that day and had set many since then.  He really understands that this kid isn't about statistics so he goes above and beyond now with him to ensure that everything is healing properly.

The first cast - it goes up on to his ribcage and was positioned in more a "sitting" position than the second cast.  I don't really have many photos of the second cast - I was doing to document what I did.  And honestly, I really don't miss any photos - part of me is glad I took the few I did so that he can see when he's older, but I honestly don't really want to dwell on these.

His couch set up.

 This is a photo of the second cast - it's definitely more of a "lay down" position and still came up onto his ribs.  We were stressed every time he ate - if he choked, we had no access for the heimlich.

The final cast coming off in mid-November.  That tool in the foreground used vibrations to "cut" the cast.  They made a cut on both sides and then the middle.  They said it was the cleanest cast they ever saw after that long of a time on a 3 year old! 

 Starting to pull the top half of the cast off.  K was coming a little unglued.  He was tired of the cast but was scared to lose it at the same time.  It was his safety.

Lifting it off of him.

 And there's the top half!  Held it up for him to see (through his tears).

No more tears!  Feeling sassy that he was out of the cast.  The tape over the scars wouldn't come lose until we got home and had a double bath.  He grew about 2 to 3 inches while he was in the cast.

daycare

Having a child with food allergies complicates the childcare situation.  You have to have a place that is alert to contaminations, understands allergies, and is willing to address reactions with swift action.  Home daycares are out of the question because carpet irritates K's asthma.  My husband and I are not comfortable with a nanny (no accountability).  So, when the only childcare we had found out in West Texas decided that they did not want K in their system anymore because we, the parents, were "trouble makers" after only attending four days, then we knew we were in trouble.  We spent a year looking at places out there.  It's an oil boom town - there is not exactly an abundance of established centers and most families out there have stay-at-home moms.   We looked all over for somewhere else to take K-man but if they were any good, they had a 6 month waiting list.  If they had an opening, you didn't want to be there and it was easy to see why they weren't full.  One extreme or the other.  

The daycare that did that to us also happened to be part of a private school that ran PreK thru 12th grade.  Up until this, we had planned to enroll K in a private school in the hopes that they would be more attentive to his allergies.  Smaller class sizes and lower student to teacher ratios should equal more attention to individual student needs, right?  Well, what about when you're the squeaky wheel?  What happens when you have an issue or a need and they don't want to address it?  What if they don't want to change to accommodate and decide that you are a "trouble maker" - a "dissenter"?  They can kick you out and leave you without any back up.  So, we are reviewing the options for K when first grade rolls around.  He can stay where he is through kindergarten.  In the meantime, we're praying he grows out of the allergies which still include all dairy, peanuts, and eggs.

This year

This year...

• Will be fun, damnit!
• I plan to exercise on a schedule and develop a routine
• I will have a bigger garden because I enjoy it
• those potatoes will grow and the asparagus will be big enough to harvest
• I'm taking up crocheting, which I learned as a little girl from my grandmother, and I want to be able to crochet at least one pair of slippers
• I will take the time to indulge in hot baths instead of quick showers
• We will have a family pass to the local pool and we'll use it all summer
• I will try a new hairstyle
• I'm going to learn how to use iPhoto on this Mac so that I can finally download all of the photos off the camera
• I think I'll try those funky nail polish colors I've always been so afraid of.  

I'll keep you posted.

2011

Seems like every blog has the obligatory end of year post.  I haven't written in so long that it seems like a good time to wrap up the old to kick this thing off again.

I cannot say that I am sad to see 2011 gone.  Not that I don't appreciate the time I've been given, but wow...this past year was a challenge.  The last time I wrote on here, I resigned from my job in North Texas, took a new job in West Texas, and split up the family by leaving my husband and son here so that I could start the job and house hunting out west.  I worked during the week and came "home" on the weekends.  The initial plan was that this would run about six weeks and then they'd be out there with me.  It lasted two months, then we bought a house, they came out there, then the only childcare we had fell through, and they had to come back to north Texas where we thankfully had not sold our original house.   I stayed out there another month looking for alternatives for childcare, but I'll explain more about that in another post.  I ended up quitting my new job, coming back, and starting another job here in the metroplex in August.

On September 26th, I got a phone call from daycare.  Kelton had an accident at school on the slide and it turns out his femur fractured with rotation.  There's so much more to tell about what happened and why it happened, but in the end - it happened.  We held his hands while he was on full morphine doses while they put him traction to take him to the children's hospital downtown.  He screamed, we cried, he cried.  We patted his sweet little head as he dozed off before being wheeled back to surgery to have the leg set and be put in a spica cast.  He was cast from his toes up to his ribs.  He screamed in pain for eight days before an x-ray revealed that the fracture had re-opened and that he would need surgery to put pins in to hold the bone together.  He developed PTSD and an associated stutter that kept a very advanced speaker unable to finish a sentence.  He was in the second cast for a little over six weeks.  Our lives slowed to a crawl and our sense of joy shriveled up as well.  My husband and I worked part time shifts at our jobs (that thankfully accommodated us very well) in order that one of us would be with him at all times.  He couldn't move...he couldn't sit up...he wore diapers...he itched...he ached...he stuttered...he slept on two pillows with one under his side to prevent bed sores...he had back spasms...he wasn't hungry...he was cranky...and desolate at times...and we wondered if he was permanently changed.  In mid-November, the cast came off.  It took two weeks for the stuttering to slowly fade - it's only occasionally now but it's still there.  He still sleeps in our bedroom on his own little bed next to ours because to sleep by himself is something he fears so much.   A week ago, he took his first steps without a limp.  There are two scars on his leg above his knee where the pins were inserted.  They will have to come out sometime this summer.  We have this pending sense hanging over us - we know it's coming - another surgery - more pain - will he be okay?

We learned who our friends are this year...the real ones.  The ones who support you when you make hard decisions that aren't best for your career or financially but are best for your family.  They are the same ones who call to check on you when your whole world grinds to a halt because your daily existence is about pain management for your child.  They understand the simple happiness in being able to see your food allergic child have his first (small) birthday party at home - with a limp and a smile.

We learned that even though it sounds horrible - ain't nobody going to take care of you but you.  I think we're bitter from this year.  I know we're bitter.  But I also know that "things could be worse" (gah! I hate that saying!)  So, as someone else so wonderfully and succinctly stated, 2011 can suck it.  2012 is here...we're moving on...we will regain our joy...we will follow through on plans to have fun...we will not live in fear...we will live with purpose and we'll enjoy every damn minute of it.  Bring it on.