2011

Seems like every blog has the obligatory end of year post.  I haven't written in so long that it seems like a good time to wrap up the old to kick this thing off again.

I cannot say that I am sad to see 2011 gone.  Not that I don't appreciate the time I've been given, but wow...this past year was a challenge.  The last time I wrote on here, I resigned from my job in North Texas, took a new job in West Texas, and split up the family by leaving my husband and son here so that I could start the job and house hunting out west.  I worked during the week and came "home" on the weekends.  The initial plan was that this would run about six weeks and then they'd be out there with me.  It lasted two months, then we bought a house, they came out there, then the only childcare we had fell through, and they had to come back to north Texas where we thankfully had not sold our original house.   I stayed out there another month looking for alternatives for childcare, but I'll explain more about that in another post.  I ended up quitting my new job, coming back, and starting another job here in the metroplex in August.

On September 26th, I got a phone call from daycare.  Kelton had an accident at school on the slide and it turns out his femur fractured with rotation.  There's so much more to tell about what happened and why it happened, but in the end - it happened.  We held his hands while he was on full morphine doses while they put him traction to take him to the children's hospital downtown.  He screamed, we cried, he cried.  We patted his sweet little head as he dozed off before being wheeled back to surgery to have the leg set and be put in a spica cast.  He was cast from his toes up to his ribs.  He screamed in pain for eight days before an x-ray revealed that the fracture had re-opened and that he would need surgery to put pins in to hold the bone together.  He developed PTSD and an associated stutter that kept a very advanced speaker unable to finish a sentence.  He was in the second cast for a little over six weeks.  Our lives slowed to a crawl and our sense of joy shriveled up as well.  My husband and I worked part time shifts at our jobs (that thankfully accommodated us very well) in order that one of us would be with him at all times.  He couldn't move...he couldn't sit up...he wore diapers...he itched...he ached...he stuttered...he slept on two pillows with one under his side to prevent bed sores...he had back spasms...he wasn't hungry...he was cranky...and desolate at times...and we wondered if he was permanently changed.  In mid-November, the cast came off.  It took two weeks for the stuttering to slowly fade - it's only occasionally now but it's still there.  He still sleeps in our bedroom on his own little bed next to ours because to sleep by himself is something he fears so much.   A week ago, he took his first steps without a limp.  There are two scars on his leg above his knee where the pins were inserted.  They will have to come out sometime this summer.  We have this pending sense hanging over us - we know it's coming - another surgery - more pain - will he be okay?

We learned who our friends are this year...the real ones.  The ones who support you when you make hard decisions that aren't best for your career or financially but are best for your family.  They are the same ones who call to check on you when your whole world grinds to a halt because your daily existence is about pain management for your child.  They understand the simple happiness in being able to see your food allergic child have his first (small) birthday party at home - with a limp and a smile.

We learned that even though it sounds horrible - ain't nobody going to take care of you but you.  I think we're bitter from this year.  I know we're bitter.  But I also know that "things could be worse" (gah! I hate that saying!)  So, as someone else so wonderfully and succinctly stated, 2011 can suck it.  2012 is here...we're moving on...we will regain our joy...we will follow through on plans to have fun...we will not live in fear...we will live with purpose and we'll enjoy every damn minute of it.  Bring it on.