A typical Saturday morning

Below is what I composed a few weeks ago regarding how I expected my Saturday morning to progress given that it was Neal's weekend to be on duty. I shared it with a few ladies in the office who got a kick out of it. Boo-Boo is our nickname for Kelton. I can't really remember how it evolved, all I know is that it stuck!

Saturday

-Feed Boo-Boo
-Change Boo-Boo’s Diaper
-Play with Boo Boo
-Put him in the bouncy seat
-Fix my breakfast shake
-Pick Boo up because he’s fussy
-Finish my shake with one hand while walking around
-Set Boo on our bed while I get dressed
-Stop halfway through my make-up to change a diaper
-Play with boo and put him back on the bed
-Finish my make-up and get my pants on
-Time to feed Boo again
-Change Boo’s diaper
-Change top because Boo urped all over me
-Change Boo because he also urped all over himself
-Put him back on our bed
-Put a shirt and shoes on
-Put Boo in the swing while I gather my thoughts
-Pick Boo up because he’s throwing another fit
-Walk around getting things together with one hand to run errands
-Pry Boo’s fingers out of my hair while trying not to scream like a bangee
-Sit down to rest
-Get back up because he just urped again and I didn’t have a burp rag
-Wipe us both off and not bother to change shirts
-Boo needs a snack since he’s puked most of the last meal up
-Get him in the car seat.
-Realize I forgot to charge my cell phone and say a bad word
-Check to make sure diaper bag is packed
-Run around frantically trying to find a darn pacifier since he's fussing
-Stick the pacifier in his mouth and make silly noises
-Realize I’m hungry because it’s now lunch time
-Take Boo out of the carseat and put him in the pack n play
-Get halfway to the fridge and turn back around because he’s griping
-Pick him up and go fetch the bouncy seat and its frigging toy bar
-Set him in that in the kitchen so he can watch me
-Make a sandwich (bread, mayo, meat)
-Put his pacifier back in his mouth
-Get halfway through eating my sandwich and pick him up because he’s griping again
-Finish eating my sandwich with one hand while holding him on my hip
-Switch hips
-Time for Boo to eat again, heat the water to warm the bottle
-Play with Boo while the bottle heats because he will go ballistic if he's not distracted from his rumbling tummy
-Grab the warm bottle and make a mad dash for the couch and plunk the bottle in his mouth
-Realize I forgot to grab an urp rag on my way to the couch
-He gets 2 ounces out of 5 down and decides he’s really not that hungry and gets mad at me for trying to get him to eat more
-Get up and go get an urp rag...he spits up halfway there on him, me, and the floor
-Go get 2 urp rags to clean us and the floor
-He’s decided he’ll take the rest of the bottle
-Now he wants his pacifier and a nap
-Put him in the swing, pray he takes a nice long nap
-Go change my shirt
-Plop on the couch and forget the errands because after all of that, there’s no way in hell I’m waking him up!